Nethar in Kashmiri is nothing but nakshatra in Sanskrit. So kah nethar would be the ceremony celebrating the constellation (nakshatra) on the eleventh day. Likewise, nethar for marriage is again an indirect word representing the corresponding astral sign, an auspicious beginning. The correct name for marriange is vivaha. The commonly used Hindi term shadi is totally incorrect because it is a Persian word that means happiness or celebration. Any celebration is shadi.
by Subhash Kak
Subhash ji:
Namaskar!
Kah-naether is known as Jatakaram Samskar and is one of such vedic samskaras as Namkaran Samskar or Mundan Samskar. This samskara is held on the eleventh day or, as you have said, on the eleventh nakshatra from the nakshtra of a child's birth, hence the name kah-naether. It is akin to baptism - a ritualistic propitiation of deities and the acceptance of a new-born child into the family fold or gotra. It is considered to be a very important samskara because no hom, havan, yagnya, shradha or pind-dana can be performed by the family where a new-born child has not had this samskara. However, if this samskara cannot be held on the eleventh day of a child's birth it can be deferred and held on some other auspicious date but before any religious ceremony is performed by the family. In our times it has now only vestigial importance.
Peculiar to KP's is Shran-sonder, a ceremony held on the tenth day of a child's birth; only KP's combine the ceremonial medicinal bath with the vedic ritual of Pum-suam (a ritual now only observed in selective cases in the south of India,