If You Want Love, Be More Loving.
Alot of personal growth work demands a penetrating look at ourselves, our values our proaches and behaviours-especially wards others. We want so much from hers, and want it fast, without too rich effort. We ask: Aren't we entitled being treated well by others? Often people claim they don't have nought' of love in their lives. Or it ay be not enough friends, or wealth, cent ion, recognition or compassion. can be whatever it is that we crave, dare sad and disappointed; even grieved and angry, at the lack of at ever in our lives. Like any personal problem, there often a solution. But not always a uations that one would like to hear! d in a more spiritual than psychotically sense, the lack of what we el, and notice 'out there' can be the manifestation of a lack 'in' us. Poets are often doctors of the soul Take these lines novelist-poet DH Lawrence wrote: "Those that go searching for love only make manifest their own lifelessness, and the loveless never find love, only the loving find love, and they never have to seek for it." Place whatever it is you feel you lack in the sentence, and see what you learn. For example: "... she is not-kind-enough, he should be less harsh"... and so on. The task is simple. But be warned that the simple is not always easy. You need to first help others to have what you want for yourself. And there is no time-line guarantee. Does it always work? Perhaps not; most often because of how we go about it. But it works often enough to make it worth doing. We live in a society and environment that more and more focus on our entitlement. And we extend this to feel automatically entitled to love, respect. Attention, understanding. I see people in the workplace struggling hard to be recognised, praised and acknowledged. And they work harder, and harder. All very well; but then, these same people extend almost none of this genuine and discerning recognition, genuine and discerning praise, genuine and discerning acknowledgement towards the others they work with But what's with all the 'genuine and discerning? Well, it's possible to use this learning as a kind of quick-fix, somewhat twisted formula: "It’ll be generous; he'll be generous soon enough... What! He isn't generous yet? Aagar-he wasn't as generous as I expected him to be!" We can use a now-entrenched sense of entitlement and transaction-mindset even in applying this lesson: "Hell, I listened to her stupid problems, but she won’t listen to mine!" Discerning? Maybe that is what they teachings in all traditions hope will do when they all teach about "Do unto others..."; or even in the words attributed to Confucius that mean m the same: "Don't do unto others what you don't want others to do unto you. The challenge for true human-nesresides in being a reflection of what you'd like to see in others, so offer to others what you want for yourself. If want appreciation, appreciate others you want honesty, extend honesty; an check the tendency to claim that you honest always-honesty like any othevirtue has many dimensions. In the same vein, if you are lonely and friendless, be welcoming and extend yourself to others. If you want to be shown understanding and compassable understanding and compassionatthose around you. And of course, if ywant love, be more loving.
DISCLAIMER:
The views expressed in the Article above are Marguerite Theophil and kashmiribhatta.in is not in any way responsible for the opinions expressed in the above article. The article belongs to its respective owner or owners and this site does not claim any right over it.
Courtesy: Marguerite Theophil and Speaking Tree,Times of India
If You Want Love, Be More Loving.
Alot of personal growth work demands a penetrating look at ourselves, our values our proaches and behaviours-especially wards others. We want so much from hers, and want it fast, without too rich effort. We ask: Aren't we entitled being treated well by others? Often people claim they don't have nought' of love in their lives. Or it ay be not enough friends, or wealth, cent ion, recognition or compassion. can be whatever it is that we crave, dare sad and disappointed; even grieved and angry, at the lack of at ever in our lives. Like any personal problem, there often a solution. But not always a uations that one would like to hear! d in a more spiritual than psychotically sense, the lack of what we el, and notice 'out there' can be the manifestation of a lack 'in' us. Poets are often doctors of the soul Take these lines novelist-poet DH Lawrence wrote: "Those that go searching for love only make manifest their own lifelessness, and the loveless never find love, only the loving find love, and they never have to seek for it." Place whatever it is you feel you lack in the sentence, and see what you learn. For example: "... she is not-kind-enough, he should be less harsh"... and so on. The task is simple. But be warned that the simple is not always easy. You need to first help others to have what you want for yourself. And there is no time-line guarantee. Does it always work? Perhaps not; most often because of how we go about it. But it works often enough to make it worth doing. We live in a society and environment that more and more focus on our entitlement. And we extend this to feel automatically entitled to love, respect. Attention, understanding. I see people in the workplace struggling hard to be recognised, praised and acknowledged. And they work harder, and harder. All very well; but then, these same people extend almost none of this genuine and discerning recognition, genuine and discerning praise, genuine and discerning acknowledgement towards the others they work with But what's with all the 'genuine and discerning? Well, it's possible to use this learning as a kind of quick-fix, somewhat twisted formula: "It’ll be generous; he'll be generous soon enough... What! He isn't generous yet? Aagar-he wasn't as generous as I expected him to be!" We can use a now-entrenched sense of entitlement and transaction-mindset even in applying this lesson: "Hell, I listened to her stupid problems, but she won’t listen to mine!" Discerning? Maybe that is what they teachings in all traditions hope will do when they all teach about "Do unto others..."; or even in the words attributed to Confucius that mean m the same: "Don't do unto others what you don't want others to do unto you. The challenge for true human-nesresides in being a reflection of what you'd like to see in others, so offer to others what you want for yourself. If want appreciation, appreciate others you want honesty, extend honesty; an check the tendency to claim that you honest always-honesty like any othevirtue has many dimensions. In the same vein, if you are lonely and friendless, be welcoming and extend yourself to others. If you want to be shown understanding and compassable understanding and compassionatthose around you. And of course, if ywant love, be more loving.
DISCLAIMER:
The views expressed in the Article above are Marguerite Theophil and kashmiribhatta.in is not in any way responsible for the opinions expressed in the above article. The article belongs to its respective owner or owners and this site does not claim any right over it.
Courtesy: Marguerite Theophil and Speaking Tree,Times of India