Simply See Things The Way That They Are
Right now, it's like this"-a phrase said to come from the Theravada teacher Ajahn umedho, is an invitation to accept and xplore what is present. At the same ime, it clearly suggests that whatever is, sjustfor now. 'It'-whether good or badwillnot stay this way; impermanence, as hey say, is hard at work! Originally, Gautama Buddha taught bout 'Tha thata', the just-like-this-ness f experience, a way of life beyond our references and preoccupations, of our ngrained habits of eagerly reaching ut for what we want and fiercely ushingagainst what we don't. The more conditions we set for our appiness, the more expectations we ave about how people should be or how hinge should turn out, and the more rustrated and disoriented we feel when fe doesn't meet those conditions. At much moments, when we remind ourelves of this phrase, we are encouraged psimply see things the way that they are, opening ourselvesto acceptingand responding, ratherthan reaching for or resisting something. The quality of acceptance however, can be grossly misunderstood. Acceptance is not about allowing anything at all to occur or to go on, it is not relatedto passivity and weakness, nor is it about conformity or mediocrity In no way does it imply "Oh, it's like this. Nothing can be done," about injustice or abuse. The basic dictionary meaning of acceptance is 'the action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered'. What is offered can be a gift or a challenge; ineither case we are taught to reject both extremes of immediate clinging or immediate avoidance. When the 'don't like, don't want' stuff hits, asimple, useful and practical exercise is Kristin Neff's three-step process of extending compassion towards oneself, First, you place both hands gently over your heart, pause and feeltheir warmth and light pressure. You could also put your hand anyplace on your body that feels soothing and comforting, like your abdomen or face. Then simply breathe deeply in and out a few times. Feeling yourself beginning to calm down, you tell yourself these short phrases: "This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is a part of life. May i be kind to myself in this moment and give myself the compassion ineed.' You don't have to remember these words precisely-just understand why you are saying them. And keep the phrases brief don't wallow! The first phrase is designed to bring mindfulness to thefact that you are in pain. If 'I'm having a really tough time right now', works better for you, that's fine. Just acknowledge it to yourself honestly, sidestepping misery or heroic denial. The second phrase reminds you that this is part of shared human experience. You could also say, 'Everyonefeels this way sometime.' And the final phrase firmly sets your intention to be self-compassionate. Understandingthis, you might use words such as 'MI give myself the same compassion Iwould give to a good friend. While you compassionately embrwhere you are atthis very moment without struggle, you also realise theimpermanence of these feelings andcircumstances. This simple act-of acknowledgirthe distress of the current moment a of not dealing with yourself with eithself-pity or anger, but with compassicfrees you to handle such situations much more effectively than you otherwise would have done. Then youcan figureout whether to wait, to ignor to act, and if you must act, how todso thoughtfully and at theright time.
DISCLAIMER:
The views expressed in the Article above are Marguerite Theophil personal views and kashmiribhatta.in is not in any way responsible for the opinions expressed in the above article. The article belongs to its respective owner or owners and this site does not claim any right over it.
Courtesy: Marguerite Theophil Speaking Tree,Times of India
Simply See Things The Way That They Are
Right now, it's like this"-a phrase said to come from the Theravada teacher Ajahn umedho, is an invitation to accept and xplore what is present. At the same ime, it clearly suggests that whatever is, sjustfor now. 'It'-whether good or badwillnot stay this way; impermanence, as hey say, is hard at work! Originally, Gautama Buddha taught bout 'Tha thata', the just-like-this-ness f experience, a way of life beyond our references and preoccupations, of our ngrained habits of eagerly reaching ut for what we want and fiercely ushingagainst what we don't. The more conditions we set for our appiness, the more expectations we ave about how people should be or how hinge should turn out, and the more rustrated and disoriented we feel when fe doesn't meet those conditions. At much moments, when we remind ourelves of this phrase, we are encouraged psimply see things the way that they are, opening ourselvesto acceptingand responding, ratherthan reaching for or resisting something. The quality of acceptance however, can be grossly misunderstood. Acceptance is not about allowing anything at all to occur or to go on, it is not relatedto passivity and weakness, nor is it about conformity or mediocrity In no way does it imply "Oh, it's like this. Nothing can be done," about injustice or abuse. The basic dictionary meaning of acceptance is 'the action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered'. What is offered can be a gift or a challenge; ineither case we are taught to reject both extremes of immediate clinging or immediate avoidance. When the 'don't like, don't want' stuff hits, asimple, useful and practical exercise is Kristin Neff's three-step process of extending compassion towards oneself, First, you place both hands gently over your heart, pause and feeltheir warmth and light pressure. You could also put your hand anyplace on your body that feels soothing and comforting, like your abdomen or face. Then simply breathe deeply in and out a few times. Feeling yourself beginning to calm down, you tell yourself these short phrases: "This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is a part of life. May i be kind to myself in this moment and give myself the compassion ineed.' You don't have to remember these words precisely-just understand why you are saying them. And keep the phrases brief don't wallow! The first phrase is designed to bring mindfulness to thefact that you are in pain. If 'I'm having a really tough time right now', works better for you, that's fine. Just acknowledge it to yourself honestly, sidestepping misery or heroic denial. The second phrase reminds you that this is part of shared human experience. You could also say, 'Everyonefeels this way sometime.' And the final phrase firmly sets your intention to be self-compassionate. Understandingthis, you might use words such as 'MI give myself the same compassion Iwould give to a good friend. While you compassionately embrwhere you are atthis very moment without struggle, you also realise theimpermanence of these feelings andcircumstances. This simple act-of acknowledgirthe distress of the current moment a of not dealing with yourself with eithself-pity or anger, but with compassicfrees you to handle such situations much more effectively than you otherwise would have done. Then youcan figureout whether to wait, to ignor to act, and if you must act, how todso thoughtfully and at theright time.
DISCLAIMER:
The views expressed in the Article above are Marguerite Theophil personal views and kashmiribhatta.in is not in any way responsible for the opinions expressed in the above article. The article belongs to its respective owner or owners and this site does not claim any right over it.
Courtesy: Marguerite Theophil Speaking Tree,Times of India